Enough With the Incels! A Literary Cry for Help From Female Insings (Involuntary Single)

Abstract

Modern mating markets relegate a growing number of men to being incels (involuntary celibate). Increasing attention befalls another group struggling in the same markets: female insings (involuntary single). In the partly autobiographical novel, Half of Malmö Consists of Guys Who Dumped Me (2021), Amanda Romare dramatizes how urban dating and technologies like Tinder exploit women’s evolved mate preferences in a manner that drives addiction and dysfunction. Many women have practically unlimited access to serial dating and short-term sex with highly attractive men, but such experiences can leave women less able to calibrate their mating strategies, thus making it harder to acquire a long-term partner. Romare argues that incels get too much attention, as our culture blinds us to the plight of lonely women. To investigate the insing phenomenon, we apply sexual strategies theory, sexual conflict theory, and other frameworks from evolutionary psychology. Mismatch, conflicting desires, and exploitative technologies make many women prioritize mate qualities that misalign with their pair-bonding ambitions. Juxtaposing Romare’s novel with the TV series Sigurd Can’t Get Laid (2020–2022) aids us in comparing insings to incels. Our analysis illustrates how both groups fall victim to our evolved mate preferences. Communities that develop a better understanding of these preferences could improve intersexual communication, which might help them find more productive ways to mate.